Connor Musarra: Party Like an Existentialist

Imagine Pusha T having an existential crisis…that’s the sound of Connor Musarra.

He jokes that it’s an accurate description: “I think I’m an overly existential person in general, constantly in analysis of myself and everything around me.” His new EP, Please Spell My Name Correctly is crafted perfectly for the short attention spanned generation. With a total runtime of 6 minutes, it packs a heavy Kool-Aid flavored punch and leaves the listener thirsty for more.

The music videos for Musarra’s two singles “MySpace” and “Crash Test Dummy” feel like something you’d stumble upon watching Adult Swim at midnight. Chock full of meme, culture, and viral-friendly nineties-to-early-aughts references, the videos are rich with chaos and nostalgia:

On the surface, Musarra’s vibe is gags and punchlines. His website bio reads like a Livejournal survey, listing his weakness as lactose, his nickname as Carne Asada, and his year’s goal to be able to kiss a million girls. It’s goofery in classic form, and he’s content for you to enjoy him that way. In fact, he prefers it: “I think in most cases art should be an escape. I just want them to be entertained.” But listen carefully, and you’ll find vulnerability in lyrics like “no amount of armour can stop grief from coming through” from the track “Gray Hair.” 

Musarra joined me in USC Village to discuss dropping out of the Berklee College of Music, the revolutionary potential of memes, his intolerance of writer’s block, the album about the passing of his mother, and using fear as a compass. At the end, he shares a playlist of music he is excited and inspired by.

- Xanthe Pajarillo, DJ

Xanthe Pajarillo: You titled the EP Please Spell My Name Correctly. It’s so relatable!

Connor Musarra: Especially for you, absolutely. It’s been a running joke on my Instagram and videos where I’m misspelling my name on purpose. My name isn’t that complicated but for some reason it’s constantly misspelled and mispronounced. Another funny part of it is that it just doesn’t sound like a good EP title. It’s just a statement. I thought it’d be funny to call the whole project that.

XP: Does it also go into the sense of someone’s identity?

CM: I’m playing with the identity of this character version of Connor versus the real Connor for sure. The song “Popstar” samples the movie Popstar, which is the Lonely Island movie where they’re making fun of Justin Bieber, but the character’s name is Conner. I’m parodying a parody. I thought it’d be funny to take that to the extreme and be that insane popstar character.

XP: I was watching that Christmas video you did. Do you plan to do more sketches?

CM: Yes, I am super passionate about comedy in general. I love being an idiot on the internet. I still have a bunch of stuff I’m working on in the pipeline.

XP: Your music combines humor, hubris and self reflection. Is that conscious?

CM: For me, they’re all connected. My humor goes hand-in-hand with self reflection. The human condition is inherently funny... just chaotic. I love indulging in that chaos. In my music I’m starting to enjoy that dichotomy. I am always reflecting on life but aware of how goofy things can be at the same time. Even the craziest situations.

XP: This is random, but are you into astrology or tarot?

CM: Peripherally, I don’t know much about it. It’s interesting...

XP: On YouTube, I’ve been watching these pick-a-card readings… but I’m thinking, “How can this work if it’s on the internet?”

CM: I tend to be skeptical about a lot in general, especially when they purport to tell you things about yourself. But I also don’t think it’s a bad thing if you find meaning. It’s always valuable to find meaning for yourself, even if it wasn’t intended that way.

XP: What else do you find skeptical?

CM: There will be some meme that says, “Pisces be like!” but it’s like, you just attached a new meaning to it. It’s all fun. But hey, it’s all chaos anyway. Do your thing.

XP: What do you feel about meme culture?

CM: It’s a big part of my humor and music because of my video being very visual and internet centered. I like the chaos of how the internet and social media are constantly going in every possible direction… the funniest and darkest directions. Even though it can be super toxic, overall, it’s cool we have this crazy hive mind situation.

XP: In the song “MySpace” it is specifically making fun of meme culture. What went behind that?

CM: I wanted to insert myself into the chaos of it, I thought that’d be funny as a character. I have always been a very computery person, social media addicted person -- so I’ve been soaking all of that in. It’s so deep in me now. I thought it’d be fun to bring back the nostalgia of the early internet being in middle school on MySpace in weird references. Just a bunch of dumb shit.

XP: Do you still remember who was in your Top 8?

CM: I know I had my brother, Girl Talk who is a family friend of ours, and my immediate middle school friend group.

XP: I remember the MySpace famous people, like Skrillex before he was Skrillex. 

CM: So crazy. I think the freedom that MySpace had for expression, like the customization to literally fuck with the code was really cool and freeing. It was a great place for musicians. Shout out to Tom from MySpace.

XP: Is there an equivalent for MySpace for musicians today?

CM: It’s evolved. People discover music in different ways, and that was prior to streaming. Probably the quickest way people are discovering music is TikTok or Twitter and Instagram. Which is cool. It moves so quick.

XP: TikTok is one I don’t really understand.

CM: It truly feels like this is the next generation’s thing. Now we’re starting to be aged out. This is the first time where I’m like, “Oh, am I old? I’m still in my 20s, how am I not immediately getting this?” It comes with soaking it in. With all of it, being a good user of any of these is being a sponge of everything that’s going on. You have to know exactly everything that everyone else is doing in order to find your own voice.

XP: I was talking to a guy in charge of social media at my internship, and he said memes were a beautiful form of communication that mass spreads quickly.

CM: I definitely agree with that. Humor is a very efficient way to get a point across. It can open people up to new things. It’s mostly not the case with memes, it’s just people saying dumb jokes, but it can be revolutionary if used correctly. I think of Zack Fox or Jaboukie, both of which have been banned from Twitter.

XP: Why were they banned?

CM: Various memes. There’s a lot of people using memes in a revolutionary way, but also in a negative way, as we’ve seen with the alt right. Zack Fox and Jaboukie are comedians who are extremely pointed and take political stances through their comedy that is very brave and cool. I think some people say they use their comedy to make political points, but really they’re just trying to say the most extreme thing possible, and use the guise to obfuscate.

XP: Who inspires you in your humor?

CM: Definitely Zack Fox and Jaboukie. I really love Gabriel Gundacker, Tim & Eric…

XP: You went to Berklee College of Music for Production. Has that influenced you in your music making today?

CM: Of course. Being at Berklee changed my life just by being around so many talented musicians. The environment is rigorous and inspiring. The core music program of going into theory and ear training is what was most valuable to me. I probably wouldn’t have learned it to the extent that I had to learn it there. It was like musical boot camp. I’m super grateful for that. The network of friends and creators I now work with are Berklee people.

XP: Why did you decide to leave [without graduating]?

CM: There’s a running joke that if you graduate, you’re not gonna be successful. But beyond that, I ended up leaving two and a half years in. I felt I had gotten what I needed from it, and enough student loans out. It was like, let me just try and get out into the world.

XP: When did you first start writing music? You’re from Cleveland, right?

CM: Yeah, I’ve been doing music my entire life. My family’s a bunch of musicians. My brother is 12 years older than me, he’s a producer as well. I would be 10 years old going on his computer making beats. I was in bands in like 4th grade. I started doing it for real in high school, releasing music and did a few tours. All of that is what led me to Berklee. I wanted to be doing this at the top level in the world, the top people in the industry.

XP: How did Cleveland influence you as an artist?

CM: It’s definitely a place where there is not a whole lot going on. It’s a great place to lock yourself in a room and find your voice. I was having a blast making music with friends. There were a few small collectives there that really inspired me in high school that I was a fanboy of. I followed everything they were doing and ended up working with them. It was a small insular scene that I was able to become a part of. I think that the close-knit nature of the scene is the approach I try to have out here. Even though LA is huge and full of so many people, I try to work really closely with the people I do work with.

XP: And that’s how you got into sound design and composing as well?

CM: Yeah. I feel like all of my creative endeavours happen by accident. I like creating and doing things that challenge me, so I’ve always been passionate about sound design from a music standpoint, whether that’s designing synthesizers or whatever. I always assumed I would eventually work on film, but it happened by accident. The first film called Balloon that I did was the result of being friends with them and it was like, “Oh you do music? Do you wanna work on this?” and just snowballed into what it is now. Now I’ve done 5 or 6 shorts. I love it. I mostly just want to work with friends in the film world. I’m not that into it that I want to do it all the time.

XP: I listened to your 2016 album, Gasping, and that felt very different from what you’re doing now. It was heavy and sound designy. Can you talk about that conception?

CM: I have this dichotomy of enjoying dark, complicated, fucked up music... and I like doing goofy stuff. That was a period in which I was taking care of my mom who passed away at that time, and then it was a result of that dark moment. But those techniques all informed the stuff I make now. You can hear a lot of the same experimental techniques in this current EP even though it’s brighter and more playful. There’s a lot of weird elements happening, but I just happen to be saying goofy shit on top of it.

XP: Thanks for sharing. Was your mom able to hear it before she passed?

CM: Yes. She heard it and it’s actually very fucking weird. I made the album while taking care of her and she died on the day it came out. Which is insane. Talking about skepticism earlier, I’m often skeptical about the universe aligning and stuff but that is a situation where I’m like, “That’s fucking weird.” I’m a person who needs to create and express in order to exist. Regardless of me releasing music, I am making stuff constantly just because I have to. For my mental health. It’s pouring out of me at all times negative or positive in all directions.

XP: I feel that. A writer spoke to us and someone in the class asked, “How do you write everyday? Do you get writer’s block?” He said, “No… because if I didn’t write, I would kill myself.”

CM: Absolutely. I don’t think that writer’s block exists in the way people describe it to be. Obviously there are times when it’s difficult to write. At those points, you have stopped yourself from trying something. It’s rooted in fear. I know for me, it’s like maybe I’m having trouble writing because I’m anxious about something else. Maybe I got a weird email that I’m overthinking, and I can’t readily get to the emotion that I’m trying to express musically. The best piece of advice I’ve ever received is “Just put something down.” It can be the worst thing you’ve ever written, you can throw it out later, who cares? But do something and that will get it moving. 

XP: That’s really good advice.

CM: Yeah, just put “Mary Had a Little Lamb” down or whatever, put something. Usually it’s just the fear of starting and self-judgment. Just create.

XP: That’s the beauty of your music. It could function as a song for the club, but low key it can make you think about your life.

CM: Yes, exactly. I’ve tried to achieve this for so long and I think there was a level of fear of being real that was stopping me from being able to write it. Now I have reached a level of not giving a shit that I can truly say anything that I’m feeling, make any joke that I’m feeling, and be able to express that so other people can connect to it.

XP: How did you get to that point of reaching this authenticity within yourself?

CM: Whew. That’s a huge question. Life in general is a constant journey in trying to achieve or maintain that. I try to be as mindful as possible and I creatively try to allow myself to go in any direction that I feel. It took several years of hitting a wall without realizing it, for me to figure out what that wall was. Like, what am I not sharing? What am I afraid to put on a record? I started to find the little things I was afraid to share. Maybe what I’m afraid to share is what I should be saying.

XP: So what used to be a wall is now a guidance.

CM: That’s an interesting way to put it. Yes, I go right to the edge of what I would be afraid to say to a group of people about myself and I go one step beyond that. This also applies to anything creative… whether it’s a script, or if you’re an actor. It needs to be fully unapologetically you. Otherwise, why bother? Why are we here? As the people who have been gifted this ability to create things that didn’t exist before, we should take that very seriously. Everyone has a unique voice that they should hone in on.

XP: What do you feel about the present state of rap and its authenticity?

CM: I’m excited by music, always. I’m always inspired and excited to hear new things. I have never been one to subscribe to the idea that music now is not as good as it once was. You’re just not looking in the right places. I think hip hop music right now is in an interesting and exciting place that is allowing for creative freedom that wasn’t always there. I think it’s being misinterpreted by people outside of hip hop, who say “It lacks substance blah blah blah,” but once again, it’s just entertainment. Whatever you take from it is fine. Music doesn’t always have to have the deepest meaning in the world. It can. It doesn’t have to. I’m excited to hear new sounds and cartoonish voices.

XP: That brings us to the Spotify playlist you made. Is there a theme you chose?

CM: It’s a mixture of artists I’m really into and inspired by. Also friends that are just awesome. The first song is “Crack” by Mooke Da God. He’s one of my friends from Cleveland. I produced all of his music. It’s a really frenetic and insane rap song. There’s Caroline Polachek. I was inspired by her album that dropped late last year, it’s exciting pop music. Interesting sound design, incredible melodies. A little tangent… a lot of where I’m coming from artistically now comes from being involved in making pop music, diving into song structure, melody, and playing with ear worms. Trying to catch people. I’ve been really inspired by a lot of pop music. I digress. Caroline Polachek is one of my favorite artists right now. Last one is this group called Cannibal Ox. When I was 10 I heard them on a Tony Hawk soundtrack. Those Tony Hawk soundtracks put me onto so much music as a kid. Their album Cold Vein absolutely blew my mind, super crazy production, the things they’re saying are off the wall crazy. I wanted to put people onto them if they haven’t heard it.

XP: Any tour dates we should know about?

CM: I’ll probably do an LA show next month and a tour in the summer.

XP: Where can people find you online?

CM: @ConnorMusarra on all platforms. 

XP: Any last stuff you want to say before we wrap up?

CM: Please spell my name correctly and um, go… create… some shit.

Connor Musarra’s EP “Please Spell My Name Correctly”  will be available on all streaming platforms on Jan 31. [Disclaimer: this interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.]