If I Were an Early 80s New Wave Punk Band, I’d Reunite at Coachella

While the rest of the world awaits the arrival of the holidays during the month of December, Southern California audiophiles eagerly anticipate information regarding an event less wholesome than Christmas, but undoubtedly more epic than the well-loved holiday.

That’s right, kiddos—Coachella lineup season has come to town.

Officially, Goldenvoice—the event’s promoters—release the 2008 festival lineup on January 21st. This date, nearly a month away, however, has not hindered hopeful Coachella attendees from speculating who will perform at the acclaimed three-day music festival in Indio, California this upcoming April.

Rumors are abound across the Information Super Highway, centering mainly on choice Los Angeles music blogs and the official Coachella message boards. From impossible wish lists (“Say, didn’t Joy Division break up when Ian Curtis killed himself?�) to confirmed performers as verified by ‘the brother-in-law of my mailman’s next-door neighbor’s deceased uncle,’ solid confirmations of potential performers have been nearly non-existent.

Smaller artists, as well as some sub-headliners, present promising cases of performing at Coachella ’08, given word-of-mouth confirmations from the artists themselves, or from artist availability on promotion and booking websites. (Possible appearances are slated from Death Cab for Cutie, The Verve, Portishead, Ladytron, and Caribou.)

Absent, however, from these officially unconfirmed confirmations, are any clear headliners for the festival. In fact, none of the usual contributors to the Coachella Rumor Mill can discern any of the eventual three ‘big name acts’ who will capstone each day of performances.

Usually noted for its promotion of some of the largest names in popular alternative music, as well as its revival of some of the most influential bands in recent musical history, Coachella and Goldenvoice seem to have either missed the boat on 2008’s most anticipated headliners, or have become extremely adept at keeping secrets from the general public.

To crush your Yorke-yearning desires before imagination supersedes logic—yes, I’m talking to you, Mr. Diehard Radiohead Fan—a Goldenvoice employee has confirmed that the famed British experimental rockers will NOT be playing Coachella this year, a pity, considering how the band was suspected for several months to be a shoo-in for the 2008 festival’s leading headliner. Nix any hopes of an appearance by The White Stripes, Led Zeppelin, or My Bloody Valentine as well; these bands, too, by process of research and elimination, show no signs of performing in the Palm Desert come April.

So, where does this leave Coachella and Goldenvoice promoters to turn? Whom shall grace the coveted Coachella Main Stage closing slot that hot, sweltering weekend in April? What bands will music lovers across the world shell out nearly $350 to see?

Two words: TALKING. HEADS.

They're so hip, hipsters can't even tell.

That’s right, you heard me correctly. The only way that Coachella can regain any ounce of authority and renown in the music festival circuit—especially after losing Radiohead—would be to book the most impossible reunion imaginable. So, Goldenvoice and Co., listen up closely. The following shall be your saving grace.

True, David Byrne isn’t exactly loved by his fellow band members; after disbanding officially in 1991, little hope of a legitimate Talking Heads reunion dwindled away with time between Byrne’s expanding ego and bad blood amongst former members. Yet, as of late, all signs seem to be pointing to a highly improbable, but completely believable chance at a Talking Heads 2008 performance at this year’s festival.

Not happening, you say? Completely unlikely? Perhaps, but, considering a reunion from both the band and Coachella’s promoters’ stance, Talking Heads would benefit themselves and Goldenvoice quite heavily, should a reunion take place this year. With a recent resurgence in their popularity, the band could pull a large draw—both in attendance and cash flow—keeping all pieces of the Coachella machine (audience included) well-oiled and content.

The idea of a Talking Heads reunion has been flittering around the Coachella message board as of late, and to be quite honest, with each passing day and with each potential headliner becoming unconfirmed, the idea suddenly transforms—albeit slowly—from fan-girl fancy to something of a realistic hope.

So, if I were the Talking Heads, I’d reunite at Coachella in 2008. Band mate hatred aside, that cold hard cash would be too hard to turn down.
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