From the Reject Bin Part 1

Ugly Beauty "You Are Unique (Just Like Everyone Else)"


Cows and whales are arguably the two worst animals you can have on an album cover. This is because neither affiliates with any form of music, or, at least, any viable form of music. Somehow, Michigan's Ugly Beauty managed to fit 10 cows and 2 whales on their cover (plus another lone cow on the back). The band also has an annoying penchant for oxymoronic phrases. This is to be expected, i guess. They ARE called Ugly Beauty, afterall. And check out the album title. Deep stuff man. It seems that everything cancels itself out in the Ugly Beauty idiom. You can be ugly, but still win a beauty pageant. You can be unqiue, but still be another face in the crowd. And whales? Well, they can fucking FLYYYY.

But enough discussion about the laser-printed flap. The music is a fusion of 80s glam metal riffs, and hardcore-lite (oxymoronic!) vocals. Perhaps the most annoying thing is that it's not as funny as the album cover suggests. It's only bad. And merely being bad, as opposed to being holy-fuck-hide-the-children-bad, might be the worst kind of bad there is.

Rabid "Skull"


What is it with this trend? So we get a CD and there's some arbitrary animal on it- lets say, an emu, a bald eagle, or, in this case, a rabbit, and although we know it's going to be 12 tracks of pure awfulness, we still have high hopes for something strange or satanic. But once we pop the disc in, it's just a regurgitation of the worst glam metal cliches: scale shredding, toms and more toms, etc.

And has anyone ever read "Bunnicula"? Cause the album cover is totally reminiscent of that.

DLo "I Dare You To Love Me" (single)



There's bit of a mystery with this single. If you look close enough, you'll notice that the front and inside cover features the exact same head! So who is DLo? And why did the people at MTM Entertainment need to place his cropped-off cabasa on two seperate bodies? And who do those bodies belong to? These questions are undoubtedly far more intriguing than the song itself.

"Dare You To Love Me" is your standard R&B fare that longs for the days of Boys II Men. If you can't get enough of it, the second track adds saxomophone to the mix, and the third is all instrumental (just in case you want to play it over your Fergie acapella cuts). We're not touching this stuff, even if DLo (if he even exists) names it "Double Dog Dare Ya."
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